To Punish or Not to Punish?

Yesterday, for the first time I spanked my daughter! Horror!  I still get goose bumps thinking about the incident. At the same time, I was calming my mother down, offering her my calmness even though I was boiling inside. 

Let me start from the beginning:

"My daughter, Kate went for a walk yesterday with her grandmother (my mother).  It was summer; flowers were in bloom, there were no children in the park, so Kate and Grandma decided to take a small bike ride. They walked with the bike and observed fish ponds. Kate would pedal a bit and stop, waiting for Grandma to catch up.

This was a pedestrian safe zone: playgrounds, soccer fields, baseball fields, and bike paths. It was hot, so Kate and Grandma felt tired and turned back towards home. Suddenly my daughter changed course, she left Grandma, and pedaled away as fast as she could without stopping or turning around. Grandma ran after her. She cried, 'Stop! Stop!' No response. The pedestrian zone ended and the busy road was just around the corner! My mother could not see her granddaughter. She ran, but could not catch up with her. Grandma finally reached Kate at the entrance to our home.

When I opened the door, I saw two crying people: Grandma with trembling hands and Kate complaining that Grandma had scolded her. When I realized what had happened, I was already ill! How Kate crossed the busy street - nobody knows. She said that she waited until there were no cars. Then I could only hope that she traveled on the sidewalk along the road to our house. We have heavy traffic around our place.  

Out of fear, I spanked Kate and put her in a corner. Soon of course I gave Kate a drink of water and a hug. She cried and promised she would not do that anymore.  My daughter is only 3 1/2 years old!

In the evening when Grandma called, Kate answered the phone.  Kate immediately said, 'I will not do that again!' It was great stress for all of us; at night we slept poorly.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you punish your children or remain calm?

 Do you punish your children?"

  

Photo: My friend's daughter role playing for the story.

 A mother once wrote this to me feeling confused , sad, looking for advice...  

How would you reply to her? 

 
Wishing you all the best in the difficult yet exciting journey of parenting!

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

To learn more about Parenting Classes and Exploration classes, visit our website: http://www.ourparentingplace.com

Ideas for a Science Experiment 1

This is simple and fun experiment to do with children in classroom or at home.

#1 Experiment: Pinecone Protection

We will observe the pinecones open and close all by themselves!

Materials: Pinecone
Water
Tweezers
Large bowl
Shallow dish

Procedures :
1. Examine the pinecone closely for nuts. Pine nuts can be found between the scales of the pinecone. From the outside, the nuts appear thin and papery. Remove a nut by gently pulling on it with the tweezers.

2. Pour 3” of water into the large bowl. Leave one pinecone on the table. Have the children wash the others in water for several minutes.

 3. Every few minutes, compare the wet pinecones to the dry one until the wet pinecones are completely closed. This usually takes from 10-20 minutes.

4. Place the wet pinecones in the shallow dish and leave them on table with the dry pinecone for two or three days. Observe them periodically.


What Happened:
The pine nuts inside the pinecone are actually seeds which can grow into new trees. When the pine cone becomes wet, it closes up to protect its seeds. As the pine cone dries out, it gradually opens up again.
Suggestions and Variations:

• Observe pine trees after a rainstorm to see if the pinecones are closed on their own.
• Try planting some of the pine seeds you found to see if they sprout. (They may not if they are too old or have been partially eaten by insects.)

*This was not my idea, but I tried it and I loved it.


Enjoy !

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

 Save the Date – Friday Nov 30    Christmas Drive sponsored by San Marino Chamber of Commerce. 
On Huntington Drive from 5:00pm --8:00pm.

Join us for this annual tradition as businesses open up their doors and greet residents and non, many activities for kids and families as well as art project, cider, petting zoo etc.

Open-ended Ideas for an Art Project 3

# 3 Project: Golf Ball Painting

Goals: Fine and gross motor skills development; enjoyment of the process; no right or wrong result, unique outcome; generation of new possibilities and ideas; flexibility of thought; experimentation and drawing conclusions; cause and effect; and language development.

Materials: Lid of large paper box, paper, golf balls, tempera paint, tongs to pick up balls, sorting try for the paint, place to dry art project (clothes dryer is ideal).

Procedures:

1. Choose the colors and squeeze a little bit to sorting trays.

*You could choose to separate cool colors and warm colors it will help you to keep them clean for longer time and also gives you opportunity to talk with children about cool and warm colors.

*You can get great effect if you add white, silver or gold paint into the tray.





2. Place one or two balls in each section.


3. Place blank paper in box lid.


4. Children choose the colors. They place ball into the tray and roll. You can put only one ball or you can choose to put few. You can roll it slow or fast. Try different ways of rolling.

Enjoy !

Cheers,

Teacher Kira 

• Join us for Golf Ball Painting Project on Wednesday, November 28^th 4:00 pm -  for 3-10 yrs old

at Stylish Child Store 317 North San Marino Ave. San Gabriel, CA 91775

 

Open-ended Ideas for an Art Project 2

#2 Project: Orange Peel Necklaces

Goals: Enjoyment of the process, sensory awareness, unfamiliar use of familiar equipment, sense of mastery, experimentation, and drawing conclusions from trying things out.

Materials: Orange peels, plastic needles, thread, vegetable tray sorter

1.  Collect orange peels.

 2.  Children cut the orange peel into smaller pieces.

 Great opportunity to smell, touch and talk.

    3. Place them in the vegetable tray sorter.

You can also add wooden beads and cinnamon sticks if you wish.

4. You can start creating the necklaces and smell the orange.

5. You can decorate your house with it and it will add a wonderful scent of Fall to your home.

Enjoy!

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

•                Join us for a Story Time on October 24th, 2012

at  Stylish Child Store 317 North San Marino Ave San Gabriel, CA 91775
• Fun Time;
• Interactive reading;
• Encourage self esteem, problem solving, and conflict resolution skills.
 11:30 am – 2 - 3 years old
  4:00 pm – 3 – 6 years old 

 

•             Parenting Book Club on Thursday, 10/25/12 – Parent Effectiveness Training,by Thomas Gordon

•              Teacher Workshop titled Spice Up Your Preschool Classroom – Saturday, 11/3/12 from 9 – 11 am, Register by 10/10/12, $20 per person.  Contact Gilda at (626) 588-2945 or email her at info@ourparentingplace.com.

 

Open-ended Ideas for an Art Project

I would love to share with you a few ideas for some ART Projects. On one hand, the ideas are very simple and do not require much energy or money from you. On the other hand they give children the opportunity or anyone who creates them to explore, imagine, play and feel empowered.

#1 Project: Fall Collage

Goals: Enjoyment of the process; sensory awareness; generation of new possibilities and ideas; use of imagination; flexibility of thought; experimentation and drawing conclusions; and language development.

Materials: Shoebox lids, nature items, glue, vegetable tray sorter.

 1. Collect lids from shoe boxes or candy boxes.

You can add an old calendar picture for a background if you wish.

2. Collect fall nature treasures: acorns, pine cones, leaves, dry flowers, twigs, etc.
It could be a group activity: have a nature hunt in the garden or play ground. Place nature items in veggie sorter tray.

3. You will need just one more item – glue.

4. Now you can start your creation…..



There are almost no directions to this project: children can choose to glue any of the fall treasures onto the lid.

…But you can turn this activity into language art. Children can write or dictate you a story about fall. They can name colors of leaves in another language. You can use this project as a great opportunity for problem solving: can we glue that big pine cone? Will it stay? How we can connect this twig? We have only one green rock and two friends want it. What should we do?

Enjoy !

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

Our Parenting Place will be participating at the 7th Annual ArtWalk in Pasadena – Saturday, October 13, 2012 11 am – 5 pm at Colorado and El Molino, Join us and Vladi, our resident artist, for a Jackson Pollock Inspired Art Project – Golf Ball Painting & Expression.  For more info, visit www.playhousedistrict.org/artwalk.

 Join us for a Story Time on October 24th, 2012
at  Stylish Child Store 317 North San Marino Ave San Gabriel, CA 91775
• Fun Time;
• Interactive reading;
• Encourage self esteem, problem solving, and conflict resolution skills.

 11:30 am – 2 - 3 years old
  4:00 pm – 3 – 6 years old

First Day in Preschool

Have you decided that it is time for your little one to attend preschool? Are you ready to become acquainted with new friends, fun activities and wonderful teachers? Are you a little bit anxious about saying goodbye to your child?
Here I have summarized some suggestions to help you and your child on your first day of preschool. Feel free to add or change the steps to help your child feel most comfortable during his/her first day at preschool.

Before the FIRST DAY:

 1. Visit the preschool with your child before the first day.
 Visiting the preschool is a great opportunity to introduce the environment and teachers.  Knowing where you are going can take a lot of stress away from your child and you.

  2. Take a picture of your child together with his or her teacher.

  3. Arrange a play date with one of the children in his/her group (class lists are often available).
Knowing one of the peers ahead of time can make the transition easier.

  4. Read a book related to first day of preschool or create your own.

  5. Prepare your child by drawing a simple picture of what will happen during school time and when you pick him/her up.
For example: “Tomorrow we will go to your new preschool. There will be children to play with and teacher Ms. Susana. Remember we met her when we visited the preschool? First you will get to play, and then Ms. Susana will read a story and sing songs with you. When the story ends you will have a snack. After Snack Time it will be time to go outside and then time to go home. I will pick you up when you will be playing outside.
If you plan to stay the entire day at school, let your child know.

6. It is great if you can bring a special toy or “blankie” to school. They can help a child feel more secure. Also you can place a few family pictures in her/his cubby or backpack.

At PRESCHOOL:

1. Once you arrive, play with your child for 5-15 minutes. Let your child know that you will stay for x number of minutes.  During this time, the message must be clear about your intentions: do not play with your car keys or pick up your purse while engaging with your child.

2.  Never sneak out!! Your child will not forget about you, so leaving without saying goodbye will not ease the transition. Instead it could create a much more challenging departure in the future. Remember you are building trust!


    3. Make eye contact with the teacher. See if he or she is available. When the teacher joins you at the activity, let the teacher and your child know that you will be leaving in 5 minutes and state the time you plan to return.


    4. Be consistent: leave promptly after you said you were leaving. If parents’ seem  unsure and worry, the child will feel it. Your child might react to your statement of “I’m leaving” by clinging to you or crying…it is important that you comfort your child by saying “I hear you, I will return at x time to pick you up, you will stay with Ms. Susana.


    5. Develop a goodbye ritual. Your child and teacher may choose to walk you to the door or gate; however, your child can stay with his/her activity and say goodbye from there. Children often find comfort in developing a ritual when saying goodbye. This might include  their parent pushing them on the swing for 5 minutes, reading a story together, or two kisses and two hugs, etc. Agree on a procedure and then stick to it. Or you might already have your own ritual.

After PRESCHOOL:

 1.    Make sure you return on time. This is a wonderful opportunity to build trust.


 2. Have a relaxing time after preschool. Your child might be overwhelmed for a few weeks to months after starting school, don’t plan other activities for your child, so she/he and you can process the information and emotions related to starting a school.



 3. Listen To – what your child might want to tell you about his/her new experiences. Try not to judge or tell your child how he should feel or do instead.


  4. Create a book about this event and read together before going to bed.
 
Separation is a lifelong process. Separation anxiety is a natural part of child development. Children learn that even though mom or dad say “goodbye,” they will come back.  Children learn to trust another adult in their lives. Parents learn to trust that teachers care for the safety and wellbeing of every child. Parents learn to “let  go” and allow their child some autonomy. Learning to successfully separate from their parent and settle into their peer group is often a major focus of the first few months of preschool.

Wishing you all the best in the difficult yet exciting journey of parenting!

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

Our Parenting Place will be participating at the 7th Annual ArtWalk in Pasadena – Saturday, October 13, 2012 11 am – 5 pm at Colorado and El Molino, Join us and Vladi, our resident artist, for a Jackson Pollock Inspired Art Project – Golf Ball Painting & Expression.  For more info, visit www.playhousedistrict.org/artwalk.

To learn more about Parenting Classes and Exploration classes, visit our website: http://www.ourparentingplace.com

Parent Effectiveness Training

I will place P.E.T. Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for raising Responsible Children by Dr. Thomas Gordon as the first one on my list. 

 Once you read it, you know ALL. Okay, not all, but you will definitely get a new vision plus tools on how to work through problems and conflicts. And not only resolve them together with you children, but also give them a unique gift to know how to deal with problems and how to “own” the problems.

Wishing you all the best in the difficult yet exciting journey of parenting!

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

To learn more about Parenting Classes, and Exploration classes, visit our website: http://www.ourparentingplace.com/

The Value of Acknowledgement and Active Listening

After one of my presentations, one mother asked me why we should use active listening when our children might not change their mind and still do what they do. Well I came up with many reasons for the value of acknowledgement and active listening.

I have an excellent illustration with something that happened to me today.

As usual, I felt overscheduled today, yet I made great progress and stayed on time. As if I didn’t have enough to do, I added another task – to wash my dirty car that had bird droppings on it. I allotted myself 40 minutes to wash my car. I did the best I could even though I knew I could not dry or wax it. At least it doesn't look embarrassing anymore! I left the car in the carport and went inside to change and go out for my next appointment.

For those who don’t know me I usually do not show many negative feelings to others (even though I believe people should). 
 

It was a different case today when I came out to board my car. A gardener had just passed by with his leaf blower. I gasped! My car was covered with dust and leaves – all were stuck well to the wet surface of my car. I rolled my eyes, and got into the car and continued talking to myself. The gardener probably read my body language; he walked to my car and made an effort to blow the dust from my car. His attempt was not very successful, but all my negative feelings of disappointment and disbelief were gone. I opened the door, smiled at him and thanked him for his kind attempt.

Sometimes we need so little to feel much better. So why not offer this to our children?

--“I see you really wish this play date would never end, huh?”

--“It seems you would love to have candy for lunch and ice cream for dinner.”

--“I understand that you really hope I would stay, and not have to go to work.”

These statements of acknowledgement bring comfort to a tense situation and show children we are aware of their distaste or disagreement. By acknowledging and active listening, we are open to the contrary even if we can’t go along with the contrary. We listen and nod with an understanding body language. This diffuses those moments when our children feel powerless!

Cheers,

Teacher Kira

To learn more about Parenting Classes and Exploration classes, visit our website: http://www.ourparentingplace.com