I
have an excellent illustration with something that happened to me
today.
As
usual, I felt overscheduled today, yet I made great progress and
stayed on time. As if I didn’t have enough to do, I added another
task – to wash my dirty car that had bird droppings on it. I
allotted myself 40 minutes to wash my car. I did the best I could
even though I knew I could not dry or wax it. At least it doesn't
look embarrassing anymore! I left the car in the carport and went
inside to change and go out for my next appointment.
For
those who don’t know me I usually do not show many negative
feelings to others (even though I believe people should).
It
was a different case today when I came out to board my car. A
gardener had just passed by with his leaf blower. I gasped! My car
was covered with dust and leaves – all were stuck well to the wet
surface of my car. I rolled my eyes, and got into the car and
continued talking to myself. The gardener probably read my body
language; he walked to my car and made an effort to blow the dust
from my car. His attempt was not very successful, but all my negative
feelings of disappointment and disbelief were gone. I opened the
door, smiled at him and thanked him for his kind attempt.
Sometimes
we need so little to feel much better. So why not offer this to our
children?
--“I
see you really wish this play date would never end, huh?”
--“It
seems you would love to have candy for lunch and ice cream for
dinner.”
--“I
understand that you really hope I would stay, and not have to go to
work.”
These
statements of acknowledgement bring comfort to a tense situation and
show children we are aware of their distaste or disagreement. By
acknowledging and active listening, we are open to the contrary even
if we can’t go along with the contrary. We listen and nod with an
understanding body language. This diffuses those moments when our
children feel powerless!
Cheers,
Teacher Kira
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